Herriman Tri race musings and thoughts

I know, I said I was going to be better about posting, and I am sorry, but July was super crazy, We were gone got literally 1/2 of it, and here we are in mid-August already.

Today was the Herriman Blackridge Triathlon, and I actually had fun. As you know, I did the Spartan Super race last weekend, and that was so brutal.  It was the hardest thing I have ever seen or done.  I got sick multiple times, and couldn't keep any fluids down.  It was just a brutal race, but I did it, and I can now move on.  :)

So today was a Sprint Tri, and it was my first one of the year actually.  Seems weird, that I have kind of fallen in love with this sport, but yet, as of today, only done 2 actual triathlons. I will have to do more as I continue on this journey.  More on that later.

In my Instagram post today I mentioned that I am a 46-year-old, with the mind (sometimes) of a 26-year-old.  Let me elaborate.  When I am looking at these races, or even training runs, whatever it is.  I always think, Yea... I got this... I can crush it and knock it out of the park.  I can keep up with anyone, and be competitive.  Well, not true.  Not even close.  Like I said... my 46-year-old body with its 20+ years of being a couch potato can't put out what the 26- year old brain wants it to do. So on the ride part of the race today, I was climbing this long, not too steep, hill, and I thought, just ride your ride, Jeremy.  You don't have to keep up with 24-year-olds that are passing you.  You don't even have to keep up with anyone.  You are only racing yourself.  Sure there are age groups, so you are competing within that, but still.  Triathlon is an individual sport, and that is the ONLY thing I need to remember. Just go out and be the best you can be. Just do it for yourself.

I also realized today that I think I have some sort of deep seeded fear of the swim.  I typically do well in my training swims...  me in my lane, just cruising along, and stopping on the side when I want. But today (like at Spudman, but not as bad) I had a little freak out moment. The swim was really quite short today, so I don't know what happened.  I did get kicked in the head today, so perhaps that didn't help. I need to look into that, but I grabbed the lane marker (it was changed to a pool swim 1 day before the event) and pulled myself along for a stroke or two. I finished the swim but was breathing heavy for the start of the bike.  Some sort of anxiety I think, or it could be that my training is crap too.

I am not sure if I posted this or not yet, but I have been chosen to be an ambassador for a sports clothing line.  Lovethepain.com They make some pretty cool stuff, and I can't wait to expand my clothing supply.  Heidi is getting some as well.  They have super cute stuff.  If anyone reading this would like a discount there, just let me know and I can get you a discount code to use. one of the things that drew me to them was the name/motto.  Love the pain.  Seems kind of masochistic, but if you think about it, its fits quite well. I think that is what drew me to them.  I do love this idea of getting my 46-year-old body to match my 26-year-old brain. Pushing through my pain 9both mental and physical) barriers.  There will have to be concessions made, but perhaps we can meet in the middle... like a 36-year-old body/brain combo. I do love putting in the work, and I can tell things are changing.  I am so impatient, and I want all the weight to come off, and all the cardio/strength benefits to come over night, but I need to remind myself that I didn't put it on overnight, it ain't coming off overnight.

I am not going to compare any of my race times to others, just to past races. I want to become better. Not better than others, they are on their own journeys, but better than my yesterday.  Better than my last race.  There seems to be a hashtag floating around some of the folks I follow on Instagram that says #podiumsandprs.  Perhaps I will start one that is just prs... I might need to work on that on.

It was a good day overall.  Next week: Heidi's birthday, and her sprint triathlon Triathamom.  I will have to get her to post on it, and I will be the cameraman!

Go get better than you were!

Depression vs Exercise

Well, here we are, June 8th already.  According to my 'wish list' of races I was going to do this year, I should be prepping for an Olympic Triathlon this weekend.. but that isn't happening.  It's ok, there will be others.   I have been trying to focus on why I am doing this. Why and I training? Why am I constantly having to restart my keto? Why do I want to do this?

Truth time... I am still working on it. I feel I am getting closer to understanding, and that is good, but I still struggle with motivation. I have the desire, but the motivation is another thing

I suffer from depression. I have for quite some time now.  Probably about 10 years or so. I am sure there are issues stemming from the deaths of my mom, then sister, then daughter within 18 months that I have never fully processed. (Not to mention the passing of my grandma, and Heidi's biological father, losing my gob, and some other things too.  Let's just say it was a bad stretch for the Bates') Anyway, I have been off and on some different anti-depressants over the years, but also never took them super consistently. I would take them for a few months, til I felt back on my feet, and then stop.  Yea, I know it isn't the proper way to do it, but when you are feeling good, you don't really feel like taking them.. there is no need, right?  :)

So the last month or so I have been in a bad spot.  In my mind I have been going back to that joker at Ragnar who thought he was being funny when he said, in passing, "that's funny, you don't look like a runner".  It really got to me and I shouldn't have let it... but who says that? Whatever.

So in my research, for some more natural remedies for depression, one of the 'best ones' is getting more exercise.  Really?  if you are depressed, just get up and go work out.  lol.. that seems like the most difficult thing in the world to do.  For me, when I am low, I just want to comfort eat (carbs and sugars of course) and sit on the couch.  the LAST thing I want to do is go out for a run.  Does this seem crazy to anyone else?

I decided to put this to the test, I don't really want to take pills anymore.

More honest time... today's weight is 240.1  I have been going fluctuating up and down 3-5 lbs, but its time to kick this into gear.  I am going to be better at filling y'all in on my progress.

So tonight Heidi is in St George with Tristan seeing Newsies (I am kinda jealous, but it was her belated Christmas present) so I decided to go for a run.  I got past the "what should I do tonight" thoughts and put my shoes on. We have what we call our 'Bates 5k (3.1 miles) route that is a good run, has a good hill in the middle of it, and is pretty quick.  I ran to the turnaround spot and then like Forrest Gump, I just kept on running.

Now before you think I went on some epic journey, I just went 2 more miles.. so 5 miles total.  BUT... I can tell you that I feel fantastic tonight. I will continue to try and use working out as my way of fighting my depression.  (I wanted to stop at about 2 miles, but I was too far away from home.)  So I just kept going.

If anyone is out there reading this.. please feel free to leave a comment about any struggles you might have had, and how you are overcoming them.

Ragnar Race Recap

What an (extended) weekend!!!

Ragnar was full of ups and downs.  This was my first Ragnar race, and it was pretty different than any other race I had ever been to.  There were some good and bads.  There was the typical race hype. That is always fun, good music, all the excitement, feeling like you can do anything.  Ragnar was different in the fact that there are 8 runners on each team, and once the first one left, you are basically left waiting til your turn.  We got in Thursday about 5:00 pm and unloaded our things.  Once we found our camping spot, we were setting up camp and waiting for other to arrive.

Camping is always fun! Thursday night was so cold!  There were people walking around, arriving, and setting up camp all night until about midnight.  We had so much condensation in our tent, there were times it dripped on us, but we survived and it was fine.  Friday morning came, and our start time was 9:45 am.  we were in the second wave of runners that started (9:30 was the official start time).  I heard there were 350 teams of 8 at this Ragnar, and teams started every 15 minutes. There were other teams (let's just call them faster teams) that started as late as 6:00 pm on Friday.  The faster your average times, the later you started.  

I had made up this spreadsheet with approximate start times, and it held up pretty true to what I guessed.  

Heidi was runner #4, so her first loop started about 1:30.  Her first loop was the "green" and was the shortest, but still was actually very difficult.

There was some single tracks, ups and downs, and also some switchbacks that were pretty rocky. Also a lot of loose sand areas that made running pretty tough.  The Green loop had about 150 ft of elevation change in it.. which might not seem like a lot, but go out and try running up about 15 flights of stairs.  :) (My Garmin wouldn't connect so the above image doesn't look like a loop.. but it did start and end at the same place.)

I was runner #5, so my first loop was the 'yellow' loop.  I started out strong, but then about mile 2 it started going uphill... and stayed that way for almost 2 more miles.  Over 500 ft of elevation gain on this bad boy.  I walked that section... the whole way.  I couldn't run it, but I ran the downhill.

After my run, we had some downtime, while the rest of the team ran.  We spent some time in the CoP tent we had down there handing out swag and giving information about the college.  Heidi also had a volunteer shift at the elevated legs (this place was amazing.  It's a big compression sleeve you put on your legs, and it fills with air and massages the lactic acid out and gets the blood pumping again.  It was so awesome.  I totally want a set)  and sport suntan lotion place.

Heidi's next run was the red loop.. and it was the longest, and the hardest... AND.. she started it at about 11:30 at night.  Should be fantastic, right?  Chilly weather?  check.  Hardest course?  check. Never seen the course? check. Running in the middle of the night? check. Well of course she rocked it.  She said it was the hardest thing she has ever done, and I am so so proud of her.  She didn't fall, she ran faster than expected, and she is amazing!  So proud!  I then ran the green loop at 1:30am.  I came back to camp, got into bed and slept for a few hours.

We must have slept harder than we thought because about 3 am or so, there was a gal over in the medic tent who had broken both her bones in her leg on one of the loops.  ouch!  :(

Heidi's next loop was the yellow and she was excited to be done.  The yellow had some pretty technical parts in it but she handled them great and again ran faster than expected.  Then it was my turn.... on the dreaded red loop of death! (my nickname for it)  the red and yellow have the same first mile... but after that, the red just keeps going up and up.. but its not a subtle up.. it's up a steep hill, then it tricks you with a short downhill... then a longer up, shorter down... until you lose your mind!  I ran this at 11:00 am, and I was having a hard time.  (I am more impressed now that Heidi ran it in the pitch black with her headlamp!  WOW)  by this point, I had had it, and was gassed.  I told myself I could walk uphill, but all the flat and downhill sections I wanted to run and make up time. This loop almost broke me.  I was wanting to give up running and this whole trying to get fit crap.  I wanted to just walk back to camp and go home.  The guy who said I didn't look like a runner (see the "inner dialogue" blog post) had gotten to me too.  I clearly wasn't a runner. I was failing my team, slowing them down, etc etc... step by step, walking and running.. I finally made it!  I was so gassed at the finish line, and sweet Heidi was there with a cold towel and some chocolate milk for me.  I was a little delirious, and needed her help to walk back to camp.  Thanks for being there!

Overall, it was fun.  Right now, 4 days post race, I am not inclined to do it again, but it certainly was a bucket list item for me.  We shall see what the future holds for me and Ragnar.

The above is a photo of our camp.  we had about 8 tents and our table of goodies!

no public bonfires or open fires, except for the main one at the Ragnar Village.  People would just hang out here and get warm while waiting for their next runners to come in.

The transition tent.. when you start and stop each leg.

Time to change my inner dialogue!

Well we are home from our whirlwind weekend of camping, running, bad sleep, eating a lot, running, camping, running, driving, flying, trying to sleep, eating, standing at a concert, flying, and driving.  it was pretty fun.  I love having adventures with Heidi!  She is the best adventure buddy.

So I learned a lot about myself on this trip, and after processing and talking to Heidi about it, I need to change my inner dialogue.  Let me explain.

I don't recall exactly when it happened, but I was walking back to the camp from the transition tent and some guy I didn't know passed me and made a comment to me.  He said, "That's funny, you don't look like a runner.... (awkward pause, because did you really just say that?) then he said kinda laughing, yeah, people say that to me all the time too."  I didn't know what to say.. so I just ignored him, and went back to doing what I was going to do.  I am not going to lie, it got under my skin, and really upset me. I talked to Heid about it a little during the race, and I tried to put it out of my mind, but it came up especially during the hard parts of my runs.  But seriously, who was this joker?

I am super hard on myself.  I am not sure where it comes from, but I am really hard and negative to myself.. ALL THE TIME.  I am totally ok with calling myself fat, out of shape, lazy, etc etc.. but I need to change that.

Look, I KNOW I don't look like the 'typical' runner.  I am 5'9 and 245 (right now)  I have a big belly, and its hard for me to lose it.  You are right, I don't look like a runner.  There were tons of people faster than me at Ragnar.  That is fine.  I don't run a sub 10-minute mile, that is fine.  I get tired when I run, who cares?  you know what else? I don't look like a biker, that is fine too. I love getting out and riding my bike.  Yes, you are right, I look chubby in my bike kit. So what!  I am out riding.  I don't look like a swimmer.  Nope.. not even close.  Did you watch the Olympics?  I don't look like that!

So it's time to change my inner dialogue with myself.  I am strong and getting stronger.  I finished my first triathlon last year.  I finished (2) 1/2 marathons last year.  I finished Ragnar Trail Zion (15+ miles, thank you very much) and I am not stopping. I have fun, running trails, and road, riding, and swimming, and my goal is to finish the Ironman 70.3 in St George in 2018.  It's time for me to stop worrying about my time and comparing myself to others.  I am me. I am NOT a professional athlete, and I won't ever be one.  I am just a guy who doesn't look like a runner, out there running, biking and swimming...

so watch out.

Its Race Week!!!! plus other whirlwind things..

Its technically race week, and we are pretty excited!  We are running the Ragnar Trail in Zion National Park.  It should be a blast.  We have never run a Ragnar, or any other relay race, all of our other ones have been singles, but this should be a lot of fun.  We have 2 teams of 8 runners each, and each runner will run the equivlaent of a half marathon.  There are a lot of cool things about this race.  #1 - we are running for a good cause.  We are raising scholarship money for the University of Utah College of Pharmacy.  There are some great students up there, doing great things.  There is a link in our Instagram profile (@2as1getfit).  Please donate if you can.  Thanks so so much for  the support.  The second cool thing about this relay is that its run in a 24 hour period, 1 runner at a time... let me explain.  Each team has 8 runners.  The course is divided into 3 'loops', and each runner has to run each loop..BUT, it has to be done in order.  So, Runner 1 runs the 'easy loop' (3.5 miles), runner 2 runs the 'medium loop' (3.9 miles), runner 3 then runs the 'hard loop' (7.9 miles), runner 4 then runs the 'easy', 5 runs the 'medium' and so on and so on.  Once runner 8 runs his/her 'medium loop', runner 1 is back up for the 'hard loop'.  The great thing is we get to rest, hang out with our team, and other teams, while 1 runner is out on the course.  I think its going to be a lot of fun.  Mix camping, and trail running, and you have Ragnar Trail!  Our team start time is 9:45am, so this will be a long 24-30 hours.  Heidi is runner 4 and I am runner 5, so we will be running a couple of legs in the middle of the night.  

It should be awesome.  Heidi has her 'hard loop' starting close to midnight, and I have my 'medium loop' right after that. In our best estimation (trail running is a lot different than road running.  These loops have 400-500 ft elevation gains) this is what our loop start times are.  

Runner 1 Danielle	9:45 AM
Runner 2 Andy	10:34 AM
Runner 3 Maddie	11:28 AM
Runner 4 Heidi	2:01 PM
Runner 5 Jeremy	2:50 PM
Runner 6 Ashley	3:45 PM
Runner 7 Hugo	6:18 PM
Runner 8 Jaclyn	7:10 PM
Runner 1 Danielle	7:59 PM
Runner 2 Andy	9:41 PM
Runner 3 Maddie	10:30 PM
Runner 4 Heidi	11:52 PM
Runner 5 Jeremy	1:34 AM
Runner 6 Ashley	2:23 AM
Runner 7 Hugo	3:45 AM
Runner 8 Jaclyn	5:32 AM
Runner 1 Danielle	6:17 AM
Runner 2 Andy	7:11 AM
Runner 3 Maddie	8:53 AM
Runner 4 Heidi	10:07 AM
Runner 5 Jeremy	11:01 AM
Runner 6 Ashley	12:44 PM
Runner 7 Hugo	1:57 PM
Runner 8 Jaclyn	2:54 PM

Its going to be an adventure, and a lot of fun.  Right after the race.. yes, RIGHT AFTER, we are driving to Las Vegas to catch a plane to Seattle to see U2 on the Joshua Tree Tour on Sunday.  It is going to be so epic!  Then Monday afternoon fly back to Vegas, then a quiet road trip back home.  I think we are taking Tuesday off to recover, but then back at it on Wednesday.  

We will have tons of photos, and things to report after the race and concert.  I will also update you on some cool upcoming things we will be doing on our blog.  Thanks for your support, and please comment.

 

I am back on track

Ok, so a couple of things I have noticed.  1 - I am addicted to carbs.  2 - I am really hard on myself when I fluctuate in weight, or when I stop eating Keto.  

I know that everyone has been begging and clamoring for a new post on here.. I mean, really.. the last post was read 6 times.. and I am pretty sure that was all me.. maybe Heidi too, but that is ok.  Every story begins somewhere, right?    

A few things that have happened since my last post:

     1 - I signed up for Spartan race in Aug with my daughters boyfriend.  I am pretty scared.  I have never done an obstacle course race, and I dont have the strongest upper body strength.  I am scared for the obstacles and the burpees.  

     2 - We decided against running the SLC Half Marathon.  This turned out to come with a twinge of guilt, as the day was perfect for running.  On a selfish note, we really didn't like the medal they were handing out, and at this stage in our running careers (lol) its all about the hardware!

     3 - We are all signed up and teams are ready for Ragnar Zion trail run. That is coming up on May 12-13 and should be epic.  I cant wait for that.  I am kinda scared for that too.. In total its about 14 miles, but trail running seems a lot harder than road running.. so I am kinda worried how I will do, but running through the night, sounds fun.  It's like a giant camp out with some running mixed in. 

 

     4 - I have started following some pretty cool people on Instagram, and they have given me a lot of motivation.  More on these folks later.  I want to will get better at everything... swimming, running, and biking.  

     5 - I think the thing I am most frustrated about, and what has kind of kicked this post off, is that i have gained back 20 lbs from what I lost last year.  I have really been lazy, and fighting some depression, and carb addiction really adds to the struggle.  I am back on track though, and will do better.  These next few weeks leading up to Ragnar will mostly be filled with running, but i am sure to get some time in the saddle again.  Also will be doing some strength training for Spartan, and some yoga to help with flexibility.  

Thanks for reading.. whoever you are.  Let us know what you think.  

Inspiration / Motivaton

Inspiration, in regards to getting fit, is a funny thing. Its easy to read something motivating..... doing something about it... another story.

I am not big in the social media world, but I have been known to post a few things.  So when Heidi suggested we start an Instagram account together, to help us with motivation and sharing our journey, of course I was on board.  Anything she suggests, I am more than happy to do it.. as long as we can do it together.

It was only 1 year ago (Jan 2016) that she IM'ed me at work and said, "hey, all the girls in the office are taking a swimming class on Tues/Thurs after work.  Do you want to take it with us?"
"Of course" was my reply. This is a sign of things to come.

Little did I know at that time, that they had all decided to do a Sprint Length Triathlon (Tri The Heights) in June, and they wanted to get a head start on the swim training. That is where it all began for us. in all honesty, it was fun.  Although coming out from the pool complex at the U, in the dead of winter, was not great, but we did it.  And actually improved our swimming.

Flash forward to June and not only are the girls are competing in their first triathlon (Shawna has done some before, but Heidi, Maddie, and Danielle were all first timers), but we (the office gals and 2 husbands) have signed up for the Spudman Triathlon in Burley, ID. Its a Olympic length tri with the swim in the Snake River.  Intimidating to say the least! That is me in my age group

 More on those races later though.. so many stories!

Anyway, the thing I was thinking about when I sat down to write this, is the difference between inspiration / motivation, and actually getting to the gym / pool / on the bike / on the streets, whatever it is. I follow a few people on Instagram, and there was a post today that said "With self discipline, all things are possible." - Theodore Roosevelt.

I know everyone has busy lives, but the pounds aren't going to come off, muscles wont get bigger, endurance wont get better if we don't just get out and do it. You know you want to.. and you know how it makes you feel.  Just do it.  wow, what a great slogan.  I should trademark that.