Time to change my inner dialogue!

Well we are home from our whirlwind weekend of camping, running, bad sleep, eating a lot, running, camping, running, driving, flying, trying to sleep, eating, standing at a concert, flying, and driving.  it was pretty fun.  I love having adventures with Heidi!  She is the best adventure buddy.

So I learned a lot about myself on this trip, and after processing and talking to Heidi about it, I need to change my inner dialogue.  Let me explain.

I don't recall exactly when it happened, but I was walking back to the camp from the transition tent and some guy I didn't know passed me and made a comment to me.  He said, "That's funny, you don't look like a runner.... (awkward pause, because did you really just say that?) then he said kinda laughing, yeah, people say that to me all the time too."  I didn't know what to say.. so I just ignored him, and went back to doing what I was going to do.  I am not going to lie, it got under my skin, and really upset me. I talked to Heid about it a little during the race, and I tried to put it out of my mind, but it came up especially during the hard parts of my runs.  But seriously, who was this joker?

I am super hard on myself.  I am not sure where it comes from, but I am really hard and negative to myself.. ALL THE TIME.  I am totally ok with calling myself fat, out of shape, lazy, etc etc.. but I need to change that.

Look, I KNOW I don't look like the 'typical' runner.  I am 5'9 and 245 (right now)  I have a big belly, and its hard for me to lose it.  You are right, I don't look like a runner.  There were tons of people faster than me at Ragnar.  That is fine.  I don't run a sub 10-minute mile, that is fine.  I get tired when I run, who cares?  you know what else? I don't look like a biker, that is fine too. I love getting out and riding my bike.  Yes, you are right, I look chubby in my bike kit. So what!  I am out riding.  I don't look like a swimmer.  Nope.. not even close.  Did you watch the Olympics?  I don't look like that!

So it's time to change my inner dialogue with myself.  I am strong and getting stronger.  I finished my first triathlon last year.  I finished (2) 1/2 marathons last year.  I finished Ragnar Trail Zion (15+ miles, thank you very much) and I am not stopping. I have fun, running trails, and road, riding, and swimming, and my goal is to finish the Ironman 70.3 in St George in 2018.  It's time for me to stop worrying about my time and comparing myself to others.  I am me. I am NOT a professional athlete, and I won't ever be one.  I am just a guy who doesn't look like a runner, out there running, biking and swimming...

so watch out.